Tuesday, February 28, 2017

Moment In Time writing

Hope you enjoy reading my moment in time from camp 2015

Moment in time/ Camp 2015

I slide into the freezing cold river I start to feel goosebumps cover my legs and arms. I swim around and around but it's not getting any warmer it still freezing. My feet step on sharp small stones. I  climbed  up the side of the mud slide I put my feet into these little holes my right foot slips I get back up it starts to rain the clay starts to get slippery so I quickly get up to the mudslide and I slid down. Splash I hit the cold freezing water again I stand up and get back onto the bank I have rocks inside my swimming togs. Quickly I run to get my tell and wrap it around me.


  • begins in the action
  • present tense (I am, not I was)
  • some short, sharp sentences; mixed with some longer ones
  • strong verbs
  • uses the senses (look, feel, hear, taste, smell)
  • language features (simile, alliteration, onomatopoeia, metaphor)
  • show personality (sounds like you, humor, feelings, exaggeration)