Monday, September 18, 2017

The bike race

On the 5 September in 2017, Hobble Fracis big chap wakes up in his rubbish bin at McDonald's he remembered that he had his big race he got up and put on his XXXXXXXXXXL Kim Jong Un shorts. He ate his daily 200kg can of spam. He had a bath in the toilet which had rotting poo that he used as body wash. He jumped on his stolen TT bike and biked to the event. The event was called the tour de hastings. He arrived he was very nervous. A voice came on the speaker “Get to the starting line” Hobble Fracis big chap wheeled his bike to the start line. He ate another 200 kg of spam and then he had to attach an ipad that showed apple maps they have put that on Hobble’s bike because he did not remember the track. He switched on his auto acceleration and braking. They put on 1.1 inch off road tyres. Meanwhile Francis Bob Hugeman is getting his 100 year old unicycle, Francis gets his water bottle that he bought from 1¢ store. Hobble sculls back his water from his old beer can.

On your marks! get set! Go! Hobble Fracis big chap starts moving but not very fast, Then he is 4th he pushes and he gets to third Francis Bob Huge man is in front. Hobble Fracis big chap overtakes Francis Bob Hugeman. Hobble eats another 200 kg of spam while Hobble is not looking Francis Bob Hugeman passes Hobble Fracis big chap. Hobble turns his auto acceleration to full speed. Hobble passes Francis it's a race to the finish but then Francis starts to fall to the back everyone passes him. Francis Bob Hugeman starts go really slow everyone overlaps him. Francis is now two laps till he finishes and Hobble is only one lap till he finishes. Hobble passes the finish line so does everyone else.

There is a big feast for the racers. Francis Bob Hugeman is still going. Everyone sits and waits for Francis to leave. They get bored so they leave. Francis is on the  final stretch it is 7.30pm, 180 minutes later at 10.29 pm and 59 seconds he crosses the line, Finishing at a time of about 9 and a half hours the other people there had finished but Hobble was sitting in the stands watching and supporting Francis in the race. They hop on there bikes and they go to KFC they eat five buckets of 1% free range chicken, Since Francis and Hobble do not they run off into Subway they eat a 18 foot long sub with Swiss cheese, Meatballs, Olives, Carrot, Cucumber, Lettuce, Tomato and Jalapenos with thousand island sauce. Francis and Hobble get given there Subs, Sirens moan because the police a surrounding the front of the building, Francis and Hobble grab their subs and throw them in the bag, They run out back and they climb onto roof and they see their bike’s. Francis jumps off roof and land on his belly but he is not hurt, Its Hobbles turn to jump he jumps and does a 180 degree jump and lands on his belly he is not hurt like Francis, They both get onto there bikes and ride off.

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